Oh my! I read this post from Simply Convivial's--Simply Contemplate: Wisdom is Fearing God & Keeping His Commandments. I have read and reread it and want to weep - it touches something deep in my heart.
Since a few years ago when several of our children started to rebel, walking away from the faith, I have wondered how to keep on with parenting and especially homeschooling with such an unsure outcome?! I had given 20+ years to the all out pursuit of godly fruit - including homeschooling. Now the fruit of our homeschooling efforts was all over the map - we have children who live the kingdom life with radiant countenances and lives fully alive, in love with Jesus, growing and serving others and we have those who are pursuing the world fast and furious - with immorality, alcohol, and a divorce. When you pour your life out moment by moment day after day, you want to know that it is a valuable pursuit that there will be a desired outcome. Hope has been deferred and I have become heartsick.
But in this article hope sneaks back in - mine isn't the outcome to look for, but the faithful obedience to my loving master - with complete trust in Him that He holds the outcome in His hand. I can do this - I can look into his loving eyes and navigate the wave-troughs walking on water. My inner motivation can't be pragmatic but rather relational (my relationship with God). It might look the same from the outside but my expected reward is the LORD's smile and "well-done" rather than the immediate harvest of children who all walk with the LORD.
More coming soon on Repentance....